ALTernate Universe

All I do is sleep and get reminded of you.

This song doesn’t quite fit perfectly, but its as close as any I can think of.

For what its worth it was more smiles than sorrows. I’ve been doing some thinking and trying to get my shit straight. I realized I was treating you like the one that came before, and that just ain’t right. Distance for different reasons, but I didn’t see it till it was too late. I understand if you dont come back, but I hope we can at least break the silence. In the mean time I am trying to put myself back together.

dryer sheets and moo moos.

Tonight I find myself nostalgic, one of the memories banging around in my head is the trip my family took to North Dakota a few years ago. Not so much the trip itself but the memory of my sister and me smoking weed in the nonsmoking hotel room. We only had one joint, and that’s all we had for the entire trip. The main thing I remember is us making a doob tube out of what we could find in the hotel. I remember my sister unrolling an entire thing of toilet paper just for the cardboard tube. She was wearing this hideous moo moo with a white base and multicolored stripes branching diagonally from the middle. It was some stupid Good Will find that my sister would wear because she found it humorous. She sang as she unrolled the toilet paper, and I thought she was crazy. I still do.

However the point is that this is how we used to bond. We never talk normally, not about anything of importance anyway. However, when we would smoke, we would compare notes on life and learn about each other every time. I miss the ability to bond with her like that. Now it seems like we never see each other, she goes to school in Canada and when she is home she is a ghost. In a way I miss her, even though she tends to be high strung most of the time. Its like I don’t know her anymore and we can’t share our old ritual.

Cherish what you have, you will miss it later. I miss connecting with my sister, I miss drugs too, but I miss the ability to talk to her like I used to.

The smell of dryer towels still remind me of weed. I miss those days.

The stars fell tonight.

For as long as I can remember I have always gazed at the stars and wondered about life. I have always looked to the sky for some sign of relevance or direction. Yet tonight has completely blown me away. I can’t put into words the way I truly feel, yet, I can only say that I am left filled with wonder. Tonight is one of those rare nights that perhaps only happens once in a lifetime. I walked away with my own message tonight, and that is one of hope.

Have you ever?

Felt better about yourself after hearing about someone who sucks at life worse than you? Yeah, well I just did.